copyright: http://www.unclepasha.com18 days have passed since New Years and i have been wanting to write this post ever since. This is about my loud mouth during New year's . The prophetic sayings that emancipated out of my alcohol drenched lips were the product of millions of years of evolution . Albert Einstein once noted, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former". I was the shining example of human stupidity induced by vodka that night. Thanks to jaundice i really did not have much opportunity to drink much last year and New Year's was the night i was getting reacquainted with vodka after a long time. So the utter garbage that i uttered were the product of three glasses of vodka which i usually prepare in the ratio of 2:1 in favour of the vodka. I do not remeber a lot of things that night but the following is a classic that i told my friend Rithika......
' I do not know how to swim. But i am an excellent deep sea diver. Once when i was diving deep in the ocean, i came across a porcupine. The porcupine had headlights and it used the headlights to signal and converse with me in morse code. The porcupine told me that i am an excellent diver'.
Man!!! I really dont know how i ever managed to say something like that. But this is just the tip of the ice berg .. i actually was constantly harping on having or telling others to have Korean Brinzal and African Prawns. Also i expressed my desire to join the navy and kill a Cuban. I must iterate at this point i have no such hidden desires and think Fidel Castro is a great chum of a guy , i especially like the cap he wears. Also i realised that i could never be the foreign minister or ambassdor of India for if i get drunk in a party i might just end up abusing the french president like i did that night. Jacques Chirac would have never heard his name pronounced like the way i did that night , like a sexed up Bangladeshi Cab driver. Also i did accuse him on some homosexual grounds and made fun of him being bald. Well if he wants to extract some revenge then i would advise him to wait for another 10 years till i tun bald and then he can have his fun. There are some other things i did that night but memory fails me.
Oooh yes !! I did have a nice finale lined up though . Towards the end i do remember 'singing' (for want of a better adjective to describe my way of singing, may be moaning will be more appropriate) 'My Humps, My Humps . My ladylike lumps', over and over again.
Remeber all this is on tape , courtesy of my friend Rithika and i assure full stimulation of your laughter muscles in case someone wants to purhase it. I am willing to sell this obscene tape at an obscene amount. Any rich arab weeners reading this post?????
P.S: Do read my close friend Sriram aka Heyz's post , 'Bald Frog with a wig', a perfect example of the kind of company i used to keep during my college days and hence explains part of my craziness...The college life was amazing since for the first time in my life i actually met people with whom i could connect totally..:)))
http://03121984.blogspot.com/
' I do not know how to swim. But i am an excellent deep sea diver. Once when i was diving deep in the ocean, i came across a porcupine. The porcupine had headlights and it used the headlights to signal and converse with me in morse code. The porcupine told me that i am an excellent diver'.
Man!!! I really dont know how i ever managed to say something like that. But this is just the tip of the ice berg .. i actually was constantly harping on having or telling others to have Korean Brinzal and African Prawns. Also i expressed my desire to join the navy and kill a Cuban. I must iterate at this point i have no such hidden desires and think Fidel Castro is a great chum of a guy , i especially like the cap he wears. Also i realised that i could never be the foreign minister or ambassdor of India for if i get drunk in a party i might just end up abusing the french president like i did that night. Jacques Chirac would have never heard his name pronounced like the way i did that night , like a sexed up Bangladeshi Cab driver. Also i did accuse him on some homosexual grounds and made fun of him being bald. Well if he wants to extract some revenge then i would advise him to wait for another 10 years till i tun bald and then he can have his fun. There are some other things i did that night but memory fails me.
Oooh yes !! I did have a nice finale lined up though . Towards the end i do remember 'singing' (for want of a better adjective to describe my way of singing, may be moaning will be more appropriate) 'My Humps, My Humps . My ladylike lumps', over and over again.
Remeber all this is on tape , courtesy of my friend Rithika and i assure full stimulation of your laughter muscles in case someone wants to purhase it. I am willing to sell this obscene tape at an obscene amount. Any rich arab weeners reading this post?????
P.S: Do read my close friend Sriram aka Heyz's post , 'Bald Frog with a wig', a perfect example of the kind of company i used to keep during my college days and hence explains part of my craziness...The college life was amazing since for the first time in my life i actually met people with whom i could connect totally..:)))
http://03121984.blogspot.com/
2 comments:
I was There! I was There!
yes indeed ! i do remember you warning me that what i was doing could screw up my political career...
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