Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Old Project

I found an old project we had in college. It is an analysis of self . This was almost 2 years ago i believe. Have i changed in this span? Not much really .. more or less the same person. Only that now i dont worry how i will be at the fag end of my life.

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SRIHARSH MALLELA
ROLL NO-48


An analysis of self

For many this might be a highly ego boosting assignment. Shall try my best to do justice and not let many biases creep in. Well how does one analyse himself ? It’s a matter of comparisons to gauge the level of the qualities you posses. So I will compare my various attributes with things that are symbolic of those attitudes.

So when I say I am ambitious I would like to compare this attitude with a flying kite. Always trying to rise higher and reach out. That’s how ambitious I am. But then it often happens that the thread breaks and I lose direction and just float away. Herein lies my weak point, even though I am ambitious I tend to lose focus pretty often and lose sight of what I want.

I consider my mouth to be an echoing instrument. Whatever my mind thinks my mouth echoes it out. So this implies I speak my mind and I am a frank and straightforward person. Now this quality does make me appear rude at times but it is an obvious negative of this trait.

I always think that the glass is half full and not half empty. I have a positive attitude something like what the animals have. Animals never get disheartened whatever calamity might strike them. They always pick themselves up and lead their lives in the same rosy way. You may call this perseverance I call it positive attitude. Remorse and regret do not hold my fancy for long.

The mirror is one of the most truthful inventions by Man. You only see what the present reality is and however much you wish the mirror will never change this reality. So you have no option but to accept this reality. This is what I think about physical appearance, I accept the way I am and have no qualms about it. I do not bother much about physical appearance cause you cannot do much to manipulate it.

One of my biggest desires is to be fair to everyone. Hence I try to look at all the points of view and be as fair as possible. The negative aspect of this trait is that in trying to do so I get confused and am not able to decide on the course of action.

I believe that of all the things in the world the only thing constant is change. Everything changes constantly and nothing is permanent be it emotions or inanimate things. So in a sense the only thing permanent in this world is change. I understand that and make an effort of not taking things around me for granted. Though I haven’t been totally successful and do not believe anyone can be but I make an effort.

My biggest fear is at the fag end of my life I should not look back and think that I have not achieved what I could have. I want to fulfill my potential if not fully at least a majority of it.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Of results and stalkers

Congratulations SRIHARSH from MUMBAI!,

You have been shortlisted for MICAT GD and P
I.

Awwww God .. what a long day this has been.. the time now is 12:30 am and now finally i get this message... A whole day obsessing over one result only ..

Had called them twice...and got mixed answers of me being selected according to the lady i spoke to first time.. and rejected according to the man i spoke to the second time. Though he later clarified his statement and i was one big bundle of nerves the whole day long.

At least got the call and must say that i have been extremely lucky ... many people with 98 and 99 percentiles have not got the call. Maybe they were looking at our profile .. but still i dont have a great profile or anything .. whatever it was that clinched the call , i am very grateful.

Now i have my one shot at MICA. 60 seats up for grabs, 2000 applicants called for this phase. A mere .3 percent of the shortlisted applicants will be selected after a MICAT test , a group discussion cum group exercise and a Personal interview.

Its on 24th Feb and that gives me 8 days to do what i can . Going to give it my best darn shot and see what happens.

In other news, the guy who hs been stalking my girl seems to have helped her out since the compartment in which she was in another uncle was trying to get fresh with her , so this guy steps in and puts the uncle in his place. Also he is following her in Delhi too and landed up in a restaurant where she had gone . This combined with my result anxiety and the sleep inducing medicines that i am taking for my cold and cough has seriously fucked up my brain. Hopefully from tommorow things are saner around me, Sugu will be in Shimla with her parents tommorow.

adios

Some useless interesting forward

Things that make you Mumbaiya

1. You think Chowpatty & Juhu beaches as "nature."
2. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
3. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand
4. Your door has more than three locks.
5. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
6. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
7. You spend more time each month travelling than you spend at home.
8. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
9. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
10. You have the following sets of friends, school friends, college friends ,neighbourhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
11. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road.....
12. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
13. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
14. You take fashion seriously.
15. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
16. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
17. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
18. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
19. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport
20. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
21. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
22. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
23. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it 'romantic'.
24. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
25. You call traffic policemen as "Pandus" and expect out-of-towners to understand that.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Lots of things going on in my head... Another day to go for the MICA calls to be announced.. Got a call from Goa Institue of Management.. a decent coll to do my PG from .. but the big one is still pending i.e MICA .. guess my mind is fucked up coz of that .. since it is something i really want.. and if i get a call .. i am gonna have just one shot to clear it... ooh well life is crazy... so are soo many people in this world .. right now there is a guy stalking my girl.. and i cant do nothing about it .. She is on a train on her way back home and this guy who disclosed his love for her is following her on the same train all the way to Delhi.. talk about obsession...I am worried .. since if the guy is obsessed enough to follow her for about a 1000 odd kms then he can do some serious damage too.. Bastard would have been in serious trouble if i could get my hands on him.. i am very possessive and selfish about her and normal people confessing their love for her makes me jealous and now i have this guy following her and stalking her..It is quite maddening... This is the only time i regret the distance between us ... since it makes me feel helpless....

God Bless Her

Saturday, February 11, 2006

...........

I just typed a paragraph and then deleted it . I did this two times already. Will this para be a third time? I feel like questioning......myself, the world, anyone for that matter... but i also know the answer wont satisfy me. Nothing will. Humans are not designed to be satisfied. We seem to be the only animals on this planet who do not function primarily by instincts but search for a logic. But what if this logic does not strike us. Then whatever we do without this inherent sense of logic , soon appears to be logical to us and we go about this chore in a mechanical manner. Convincing ourselves by saying that hey so many people are doing the same thing so there must be some logic to it. But that is precisely what the other people are thinking too.

Is there any reprive from this situation? Will mere realisation of this situation enough for freedom from this dogma? Am i asking too many questions? A code of conduct , mostly devised and refined by some very clever men , inorder to control and gain power over fellow humans governs the modern civil society. But occassionally our true nature comes out and we get a peak on to our other side... full of extreme emotions of jealousy, love , hatred and intended violence. So is essentially everyone a loner at heart?

What if we dont want to make the best of what we get and want what is not supposedly ours ? What if i want immortality or wisdom to understand? Who decided the restrictions .. mere biological factors, supernatural factors or are we plain stupid and aint thinking right?

Whom should i respect? Do i really need to........

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Forward

An engaging forward that makes for a fun read.


LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


And here is a law that i learnt while studying in BMM ( Bachelors of Mass Media).

LAW OF DEADLINES : Whenever there is a deadline approaching, something will go wrong that will make the deadline a race to the very last second.
In other words, ' Kuch Galat Hoke Rahega'.

And it is in such moments of desperation that our minds become extremly creative and there have been moments where my group has literally hoodwinked the whole class. Won't go into the details though...


Monday, February 06, 2006

Walk

2 plates Medu Wada - Rs. 28
1 ticket to V.T Station - Rs 8
1 call to Girlfriend- Rs 9
1 mammoth glass of Sugarcane juice- Rs 6
Bunking a GD/PI class where people talk nonsense and going to visit the Gateway of India and Victoria Memorial Meusem - Priceless

Sudden urge to simply break the grind took over my senses yesterday. As i was walking towards my class at around 9 . 45 am , i was seriously hating the fact that i had to sit for about 4 hours arguing with people on some lame topic. And then suddenly i had this urge to eat Medu Wada , so off i went to an Udipi restaurant and finished off two plates of hot and steamy Medu Wada. Now fully content and stomach full , i dropped the idea of going to class and felt that i want to go somewhere where there is less crowd and more space. So i decided that i shall go to V.T and have a nice long walk to Gateway as on sundays this area is nice , serene and very pictureresque...So i reached there and slowly walked down the empty lanes with a few hawkers here and there observing various murals on the old structures that make up this place. I noticed two faces on the VT station building, wonder who they belong too. there were loads of foreigners negotiating with hawkers, the weather was pleasant and with minimal traffic around the roads looked beautiful.

This walk was soo much better than geting cramped up in a small room having heated arguements with a bunch of people that would eventually lead no where. It was a nice way to relax and gather my thoughts as i have very important few weeks coming up. The sea looked good as usual when i reached Gateway but the sun had reached its afternoon peak by the time i reached there and there wasn't enough breeze blowing. so i decided to retreat to a cooler place. Kala Ghoda Art festival was on nearby but did not feel like visitng it as it is held on the streets and i wanted some shade. So decided to visit the Victoria Memorial Mueseum now known as Chatrapati Shivaji mueseum. Got myself a ticket and went in and thoroughly enjoyed the poace. Especially the Natural History section as i saw an embalmed
King Cobra there. They do look majestic. Also saw the Kashmir stag which is taller than me and so was the Swamp deer. Also the Himalayan Bearded Vulture is the fiercest looking bird i have seen in my life. The Art gallery was closed so could see that but had a nice time checking out the weapons that are displayed there. The whole of Akbars armoury can be seen . I was trying to imagine the wars of those days where one to one combat was essential and the skills and the stenght of the warriors were put to test unlike the wars of the present age. We have such a rich history and culture but we are not able to respect it enough mostly due to the fact that hardly any one of us is aware of it other than the historians. I used to love reading History in school but used to hate writing the exams which required one to simply mug up and vomit. The subject needs to be treated in a much different manner where the student needs to understand the choices the various historical characters had and the reason they chose to behave in the way they did and what would have happened if they had taken some other option.

So i spent my time here till it was time to return home, observed a few paintings on the street put up by the Kala Ghoda people, some play was going on but looked boring so i wnet back to Churchgate station. On the way had this huge glass of sugarcane juice which i actually could not even finish and then had a nice train ride back home.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

It is tough being my girlfriend




Not that i am a psychotic stalker or am as possesive as Sonia Gandhi is of her sari , i can still be a pain in the ass boyfriend. So my girl has to be a little extra special with the extra bit of will power to have been able to carry on with me for over two and a half years. In any relationship things change after the initial year or so as people start taking each other totally granted.... I started doing that much earlier with her. Then my idea of romance aint exactly the Romeo Juliet kinds... I sing to her ( which in itself is a bad thing as i sound like Oprah Winfrey with a bad cold) songs in Punjabi that i download off the net. It is real fun though but i can imagine how thoroughly unromantic that can be. Also i imitate or talk to her in various kinds of accents right from gujrathi to italian.

The most difficult thing about me is that i am oblivious to a lot of things that happens to her and in her life. Even though she tells me every detail of anything that happens with her , i consciously manage to register very few things... rest all go over my head and i know this can be very irritating since even i get very irritated if i come across such a person myself. Not that i am a bad listener, i listen to everything but am very opinionated and hardly ever give her a chance to have her say and usually somehow end up either convincing her or forcing her to see my way. Can be really domineering and stubborn sometimes.

The coup de resistance of all irritating activities of mine is my teasing ability. I seriously can go on and on teasing someone on the same topic for days on end. I call her a Sardarni which she absolutely hates for reasons known only to her and then tease her on the same thing for days on end...Hmm and then are bunch loads of other things i tease her about. So you see in short i am a lazy, oblivious, biased and irritating boyfriend......And ohh yah before i forget , the following is a random non sensical verse i coined for her today....

Saajan Chale Sasuraal,
Lal Lal Tere Gaal,
Sundar Sundar Tere Bal,
Behki Behki Teri Chaal,
Kya Cheez Hai Tu Kamaal.

Adios


P.S : Please do not complain to the Human Rights Commission readers....
P.S ( Part 2) : The photo has no relevance to the subject.
P. S (Part 3) : I guess i am hallucinating
P.S ( Part 4) : I told you i can go on and on about the same topic..

Friday, February 03, 2006

Just bought this book today.... Took me 45 minutes just to read the preface.. It is a collection of essays by Amartya Sen , about 16 in number in which he discusses various varied topics. Started reading the first essay and he begins by stating the argumentative nature of Indians and the natural flair that we possess in loquacity. An Indian, namely Krishna menon holds a world record for the longest speech ever. This happened in a United nations Conference in which Krishna Menon gave a speech for 9 hours. This record has never been broken till now .....So with this book in hand , i am going to snuggle off to bed and read till i fall asleep....Good Night Folks ...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Agla Car Kaunsa????

Me and my father are currently on the lookout for a new car and ater 2 weeks of looking at all possible cars withing our price range bracket we have narrowed down the choice to 2 cars.. but before i reveal the identity of the 2 shortlisted cars let us pay aideu to the car which came very close to making the shortlist. Yes , ladies and ladlas it is none other that Octavia. Put up quite a fight with its unique features and attributes.....







But it lost out on one crucial factor, the back seat. It simply aint comfortable enough though it is a hell of a driving machine and one feels really safe in the car as it simply feels strong.


The other cars we surveyed were Toyota Corrolla , Honda City and Accord, Ford Fiesta and Ford Mondeo. Moving on to the two cars we shortlisted.......

With a very sleek look and feel look for it , our first car comes from the stables of General Motors. This snazzy thing has a 1799 cc petrol engine with 115 bhp of raw power and will go from 0 to 100 in 11.11 secs. This classy beast goes by the name of Chevrolet Optra....


Lookwise the car is really grand and also is extremely comfortable. It has all the jazz that comes along with cars these days .....


Next in line , is the car that i feel should win the race. This car has blown me away. I just saw it today and it has really caught on to my imagination. It has every feature one looks for in cars that are needed for Indian roads. A complete car according to me. Extremely impressive styling and ultra comfortable interior are the first things that you notice about this car...The car has been launched recently on 19th January.. It is the Mitsubishi Cedia...




Mitsubishi Cedia
Totally Alive


I love the tagline and though i do not remeber the copy buit it was very good. Now for the specifics

ENGINE
Type 4 Cylinder, ln-line, 16 Valve SOHC
Displacement 1999 cc
Fuel type Unleaded Petrol
Max Output 115 PS @ 5250 rpm
Max Torque 175 Nm @ 4250 rpm
Fuel Supply System ECI-MULTI (Electronically controlled multi-point fuel injection)
Tank Capacity 50 Ltr.




So not only does this car have the looks but also enough punch under its hood to give you the perfect ride. Clearly i am biased towards this car but the only prob being is it is slightly out of budget. So if that is worked out then i guess this is definately going to be my next family car or otherwise it is the Optra....



Verse

A beautiful poem by John Clare, there are times in life when everyone feels this way, though this is not my current mental state. I generally do not read poems but today i just stumbled upon a site and thoroughly enjoyed reading them. This also reminded me that i had not written a poem in quite some time. Used to write quite a few of them before as an hobby but now i guess i have lost the habit. The thing about poems i love is that , unlike a story a poem will mean something different for every person that reads it. It is subject to everyone's intepretation and experience. Thus any poem written by any person can have lots of significance and the writer might not even know about it .

I Am

by John Clare


I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes,
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;
And yet I am, and live with shadows tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And e'en the dearest - that I loved the best -
Are strange - nay, rather stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man has never trod,
A place where woman never smiled or wept;
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below - above the vaulted sky.

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I remember this poem very well. Had it in school and thoroughly loved it . I guess we had to learn it by heart and i remember my teacher took 2 days to explain it to the whole class line by line. I loved those school days especialy the 6th and 7th Stds. The innocence was still there and used to love being tucked in bed on a rainy day with an Enid blyton or Hardy boys book in hand.

Daffodils

by William Wordsworth


I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.


Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of the bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.


The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:


For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

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Another classic by William Wordsworth , having lived in a city my whole life and in a city like Mumbai being close to nature is an apparation. My dream house is a house in the hills surrounded by unpopulated hills lush and green with little streams to wade through and mud paths to travel upon. The house should look down upon a valley and it should snow occasionally in the winters. Someday i might be able to own such a house.....

The world is too much with us

by William Wordsworth


The world is too much with us ; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers :
Little we see in Nature that is ours ;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon !
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon ;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers ;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune ;
It moves us not. – Great God ! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn ;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn ;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea ;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

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