Many times i question myself on how good i am ? And then i have days like these. Where the whole day i was as constructive as the pigeon who tries desperately to get into my room. Even the pigeon manages to reach its goal sometimes but i just remain the same lazy asshole. Was a beautiful cold day where i could have done a lot of things. But i wasted my time away with only something constructive towards the night.
After all that i lament on how things could be better or different but i simply am stuck in this state. Nothing inspires me to really push myself. Even after all those promises to self that i will do better i just stagnate as before. Never perform to even 50 % of my potential. Reacting to everything that happens to me. Give big talks to myself but not execute any. It is sometimes mind fucks me too much.
Am i thinking about this too much? I do not know. There is no point giving any excuse either. Excuses just serve as a shield in this world. Everything can be achieved. Keeping no expectations for tomorrow. I miss my girl too.
After all that i lament on how things could be better or different but i simply am stuck in this state. Nothing inspires me to really push myself. Even after all those promises to self that i will do better i just stagnate as before. Never perform to even 50 % of my potential. Reacting to everything that happens to me. Give big talks to myself but not execute any. It is sometimes mind fucks me too much.
Am i thinking about this too much? I do not know. There is no point giving any excuse either. Excuses just serve as a shield in this world. Everything can be achieved. Keeping no expectations for tomorrow. I miss my girl too.
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