When action is equated with talk

A very Indian trait.  Endemic in our culture and in us.  Got the articulation for this insight from this post by Calamur : http://calamur.org/gargi/2009/11/26/2611-just-another-date/

Something i very well identify with myself. Often times i am provoked to action when absolutely necessary and often find myself convincing myself with talk in my head about my future actions. Promise myself a brilliant future and work towards it.  Dream up wonderful circumstances and situations where i act like a man responsible for his destiny.  Where i break the tide of things and let them flow in my desired direction. In a convoluted manner , this blog is also a representation of my mere talk and very little action.

Frustrated. Desire to live my life to the fullest. When will i act upon it?

The Dragon

The song that is stuck in my head these days. 

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The Dragon by Guggenheim Grotto

my brother is gifted he says he can wake in his dreams

and you can do anything if you can wake in your dreams

grow ten feet taller and talk with giraffes

with one single step cut the universe in half

yes you can do anything if you wake up in dreams

he met his dragon; his dragon flew him into space

there was junk everywhere, everywhere was a floating disgrace

so they went to a room that was hollow and white

they waited a while till the door opened wide

my father walked in and he and my brother embraced

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Listening to this, as i ride in the morning in a caged AC bus brushing against people all of them headed to work, solemn faces and no desire to know the person next to you.  So literally preferring to be 'transported' and avoiding any further emotional addition. 

And i hear this with a smile on my face.  I get lost, in my dreams. 

The Glory of Hope

Automobiles, machines and hundreds of such examples of human ingenuity all run on a fuel. Everything needs something to crank itself up and set the parts rolling.  A critical ingredient without which it is nothing but a worthless piece of crap.  This applies to humans too and the great fuel that drives humans is Hope.  In a way, it is hope that distinguishes humand from other animals.  animals are driven by instinct, preprogrammed and will persist endlessly for the same. Our survival instinct, that causes a drowning man to resist is in someways similar to the preprogrammed nature of animals.  But our ability to hope is something that makes us unique. 

Hope is eternal and when all seems lost it is only this ability in us to envision something better, to hope something better is what that keeps us going forth.  In the light of this fact, there should be happiness all around. All of us should be able to tap into this and keep marching ahead and achieve that glorious future that we hope for. Given such an incredible gift, it still appalls me to see that barely anyone seems to buy into it.  To see so many around me resigned to fate. To wonder whether they tried and failed or are they in the process, trying to escape. Or maybe to remove the bias, it may after all be their ideal place and hence not fighting it out. Though it cannot be the truth for the majority.  Why does it appear that the majority simply have decided to let it all flow?  To not create a resistance that hope so often inspires you to.  I have found myself wanting of this hope on a few occasions this past year, in fact have been running a low reserve and that too for not apparent grief.  Things are all in my control and after all , the truth being that we are responsible for what we are.  

To build a stockpile of this hope and to keep edging ahead.  To use this fuel and persist with ones dreams.  To take the risks and make those commitments. Little do we know , how much we can stretch and how much we can achieve.  To simply surge forth with the glory of hope!

A New Look

Tinkering again.Weird this! Constant feeling of being stuck.  My past few posts have all been talking about this. Been like this for a year now. As my 26th birthday was nearing i was taken aback at the thought that a year had disappeared. All i did was react and simply flow along with whatever came by and offered no resistance whatsoever.  It did shake me off my unknowing slumber.

Taking control now. Little by little.

Anyone

A pertinent need for escape. All around me, in the eyes of so many people whom i encounter. A fight from within against this need. Some who have succeeded are lifeless, a resignation to the current state reflected in their eyes. Why is the world in such a disarray? Why are we so scared of the unknown?

The route to happiness is clear to everyone. But very few have the legs for it. A simple life yet complicated by our discipline less mind. Struggling to find innocence around me. Everything comes wrapped with ulterior motives. I need to change. Let it rain, these drops of clarity and hope i catch it before it gets muddled in these vast expanses of human insanity. If we let instincts over power us and heed and reward each and every instinct will it make us happier or simply an animal? Do we use our intellectual prowess to justify all our instincts and tame them just like we are trying to tame nature? Why is there the strong need to control in us? Why do we need to be in control of our lives, our present, our future? Why do we desire a purpose in life and are lost and miserable without it?

Anyone?

Alive and Kicking

The homing device in my head had gone for a huge spin headed towards nowhere. All kinds of tinkering and tossing around has finally resulted in some kind of alignment. Gaining of conciousness. Realisation of a purpose . Snowballing into some kind of momentum. Desire and inclination to discover the tempo. Smooth whirring sounds in the head. Clarity. Feels good to be alive.

What do i chase?

After having essayed an almost lyrical paragraph enlisting the blankness that i face currently, a chance slip of fingers and a hitherto unknown shortcut on the keyboard caused my text box to blank out. The words as ephemeral as my various dreams and currently untraceable. The first rays of early morning light, slowly caress the darkness under my eyelids and nudge me out of a beautiful world. The complete ignorance induced by sleep and the limitless aspirations of our dreams makes it a very comforting experience only to awaken to a sense of despair. A lack of understanding of my routine and the reason for my persistence.

I have no clue what i am destined for and how i am going to achieve or what i want to achieve. At the prime of my youth i am absolutely clueless. The precious time that i have been bestowed with is evaporating away. As directionless as spilled water, i am just flowing wherever i do not see an obstruction and doing nothing to overcome any obstructions on my path. Comfortable with the controlled environment that i have built for myself but struggling in my own skin. The dichotomy has caught up with me again and i am struggling to float with the lack of purpose and the constant satiating of immediate desires causing me to be a slave rather than have any sense of liberation.

I seek a reason. A desire to be up every morning and face a day brimming with energy to accomplish what i desire. To chase!

Education & the nature of work

True education is that which makes us humble. Humility is the true essence of knowledge and the realisation of the fact that we learn throughout our lives. Higher education brings with it a sense of pride that masks this humility and makes people arrogant and supremely confident. Higher education does nothing to inculcate any sense of better living or conduct. In fact, i have found the uneducated to be most considerate amongst us. They value what they have and they value their relationships. They do not have a scale defined by degrees, by which they measure up people but it is done purely by deeds and actions. I have seen others and have myself felt false pride of being a graduate from a prestigious institution. The fact remains that the place does not define me rather only my actions there define me. And my actions throughout my life will define me.

Speaking of actions, i have always truly believed that man essentially finds pleasure when he is creating something. Commerce in the olden days was all about creation and barter. Everyone has a skillset that is valuable to the community as a whole and exploiting it gives him true happiness. Therein lies happiness in being a mere cobbler or a construction worker or a farmer all of whom use their two hands to create. Good old manual labour that has been replaced by the cubicle that is fast making us forget the tools of survival. The pure epiphany of facing the odds of nature and being shaped by its rules makes one harmonious with a deeper sense of being that we all are in a constant search of.

Therin lies the restlessness of my hands.

Amen!

The way we make it

Racing thoughts, uncontrolled and directionless leading to neither a conclusion or slowing down in anyway. Break! Relax and then a complete void. A void that is not empty but fulfilling. A calmness sets upon the mind. The riot within is purged replaced by a comforting calm. And i am at peace. That's all it takes.

Knock! Knock!

What you resist persists - Carl Jung

Starting Line

Just need to focus. Be in the moment and most importantly, be myself. Honest to the core. A lot to learn and a lot to live :)

Mere Sentences

Rise

This is for me. Just plain sentences. Words strung up together. Make me feel, ache, cry and express. No thought, no flow. No objective and no point to make or prove. I know everything, I am conscious about every idea i believe in and i do things wrong consciously by succumbing to my mind. So here goes, mere sentences.

Have a heart.

Mould your mind.

A lot to learn and a lot to live.

Be awake.

Complete honesty towards oneself.

Be in the moment.

Focus.

Live life.

Discipline mind and body.

Try and control your life.

Get a Grip.

Make your destiny.

There is always a choice.

Make your choice and not let it be made.

Be conscious of everything you do.

Invest your complete presence in everything you do.

Respect elders and traditions.

We are what we think.

Be persistent.

Be involved.

Go the extra mile.

Never lose hope.

Positivity in everything.

Smile.

Give experience a chance.

Lose inhibitions and ego.


RISE

Rise

A beautiful word, plain, simple, positive and full of encouragement. Something that the heart desires and the mind connives.

A new beginning.

Cleaning my slate. Letting go. Being truly fresh.





And here I Start