Inertia is a dangerous state to be in . This blog has been in that state for too long and i am back to revivie. I do not have any reason for not blogging. Shit loads of things have happened this past month and i must admit that all of them have happened for my own good.
Out of the 5 MBA calls that i recieved i managed to convert 4 of them. TAPMI strangely did not even waitlist me even though i did good. But then no regrets at all.. i got into the institute i desired for the past 2 years - MICA.
Persistent hardwork in something you are not really that interested in is always difficult. CAT related studies to a certain extent is interesting but then it really gets on to one's nerves. Also luck plays such a huge factor in this exam that one is really left without any odds to defend. After going through months of preparation. anxiety , planning , anticipation and sheer frustration when suddenly i got the news that i had made it, i felt emptiness. I had no idea how to react.
Now, two weeks hence, things are falling into perspective. There is no better feeling than the feeling of success in a task one has toiled or desired for a very long time. To tell the truth i just managed to apply about 60 % of what i am capable of . But i am still mighty pleased since even this kind of application i rarely achieve.
Our mind is a very funny thing though . Months ago i used to dream that once i get an admit to MICA i would have no other desire in my mind. This aint the case though. I am already thinking about what i will be facing this coming 2 years. I have read and heard from many that getting in is the easy part, surviving in a B-school is the real challenge. 90 students have been selected for the batch of 2006-08 after a long and winding process. The CAT must have made most of them really competitive, it has that effect. To top that there is relative grading, which effectively means that if i get 90/100 in a paper which is good but half the class gets more than that, then i end up with a C grade. So now i am thinking ahead and want to perform well while i am there.
Thinking about it further, this cycle will never stop. I will get placed in hopefully a decent company after 2 years but over there too , the degree wont matter performance will. And so we go on throughout our lives performing to the best we can or at least trying to, in order to fulfil what our heart desires.
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In other news , i am joining a gym from tommorow. Finally will start working off some fat. Will keep a watch over my diet too. Had a wonderful time with Sugu last month and will be meeting her hopefully this June again.
Got another bunch of exams coming up, the final semester exams for my diploma in Financial Management. Lots of mugging up to be done, will have to start soon. This course has not been of much use since the teaching really sucked. However i did pick up a few things here and there and might pick up a few more in the coming two weeks. One thing i realised though, all financial investments in share market are speculative in nature and aint really that different from gambling. All the various models of valuation etc can be tweaked and since everything is in numbers , one can mould it to any form and make anything look good or bad. Also i now am 1billion gazillion % sure that i was never ever meant to be a finance guy. It is plain boring to me.
As an afterthought, i am suddenly reminded of this lady i have been seeing regularly on Churchgate station for the past month. She must be living somewhere on the footpath and wanders about in the station aimlessly. Must be between 60 to 70 years of age. She wears a nightgown, a very old and dirty one. The first time i saw her, her nightgown was partially wet , her hair messy and open and she was crying real hard. She looked extremely helpless and was wailing. Crying as if her heart had been broken into a 100 peices. When i saw her that day i felt completely miserable. This nameless wailing woman was one of the most painful sights i have seen in my whoole life. I really do not understand why this moved me soo much as staying in this city I encounter such scenes of povety and misery on a regular basis. But the very first glimpse of her made me think about this woman having a family, maybe she has a son. And that family , maybe that son has abandoned her. She looked so frail and weak hearted, crying with the innocence of a baby. The whole world passed her by but nobody could hear her cry. It was really strange, not even so much as a glance was spared towards the old woman by all who passed her. I stood there transfixed and felt like crying myself. I wondered if i could reduce her misery to a certain extent. But she just kept walking on the platform , her gown wet with water and her face wet with tears. Like all others around her , I too moved on after some time but that image of her is etched in my mind. Started to think how helpless old people are and hoping i would be able to aptly support my parents. I see her on and off at Churchgate station these days. Thankfully i havent seen her cry again. She wears the same gown that is always a little wet and carries a polythene bag with her. i have not seen her beg nor have i seen her with anybody else. Tried making eye contact with her but she is usually in her own world, must be a troubled world and a mind full of broken dreams.
Somehow her image has managed to personify emotional pain in my mind.
God Bless Her.
Out of the 5 MBA calls that i recieved i managed to convert 4 of them. TAPMI strangely did not even waitlist me even though i did good. But then no regrets at all.. i got into the institute i desired for the past 2 years - MICA.
Persistent hardwork in something you are not really that interested in is always difficult. CAT related studies to a certain extent is interesting but then it really gets on to one's nerves. Also luck plays such a huge factor in this exam that one is really left without any odds to defend. After going through months of preparation. anxiety , planning , anticipation and sheer frustration when suddenly i got the news that i had made it, i felt emptiness. I had no idea how to react.
Now, two weeks hence, things are falling into perspective. There is no better feeling than the feeling of success in a task one has toiled or desired for a very long time. To tell the truth i just managed to apply about 60 % of what i am capable of . But i am still mighty pleased since even this kind of application i rarely achieve.
Our mind is a very funny thing though . Months ago i used to dream that once i get an admit to MICA i would have no other desire in my mind. This aint the case though. I am already thinking about what i will be facing this coming 2 years. I have read and heard from many that getting in is the easy part, surviving in a B-school is the real challenge. 90 students have been selected for the batch of 2006-08 after a long and winding process. The CAT must have made most of them really competitive, it has that effect. To top that there is relative grading, which effectively means that if i get 90/100 in a paper which is good but half the class gets more than that, then i end up with a C grade. So now i am thinking ahead and want to perform well while i am there.
Thinking about it further, this cycle will never stop. I will get placed in hopefully a decent company after 2 years but over there too , the degree wont matter performance will. And so we go on throughout our lives performing to the best we can or at least trying to, in order to fulfil what our heart desires.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news , i am joining a gym from tommorow. Finally will start working off some fat. Will keep a watch over my diet too. Had a wonderful time with Sugu last month and will be meeting her hopefully this June again.
Got another bunch of exams coming up, the final semester exams for my diploma in Financial Management. Lots of mugging up to be done, will have to start soon. This course has not been of much use since the teaching really sucked. However i did pick up a few things here and there and might pick up a few more in the coming two weeks. One thing i realised though, all financial investments in share market are speculative in nature and aint really that different from gambling. All the various models of valuation etc can be tweaked and since everything is in numbers , one can mould it to any form and make anything look good or bad. Also i now am 1billion gazillion % sure that i was never ever meant to be a finance guy. It is plain boring to me.
As an afterthought, i am suddenly reminded of this lady i have been seeing regularly on Churchgate station for the past month. She must be living somewhere on the footpath and wanders about in the station aimlessly. Must be between 60 to 70 years of age. She wears a nightgown, a very old and dirty one. The first time i saw her, her nightgown was partially wet , her hair messy and open and she was crying real hard. She looked extremely helpless and was wailing. Crying as if her heart had been broken into a 100 peices. When i saw her that day i felt completely miserable. This nameless wailing woman was one of the most painful sights i have seen in my whoole life. I really do not understand why this moved me soo much as staying in this city I encounter such scenes of povety and misery on a regular basis. But the very first glimpse of her made me think about this woman having a family, maybe she has a son. And that family , maybe that son has abandoned her. She looked so frail and weak hearted, crying with the innocence of a baby. The whole world passed her by but nobody could hear her cry. It was really strange, not even so much as a glance was spared towards the old woman by all who passed her. I stood there transfixed and felt like crying myself. I wondered if i could reduce her misery to a certain extent. But she just kept walking on the platform , her gown wet with water and her face wet with tears. Like all others around her , I too moved on after some time but that image of her is etched in my mind. Started to think how helpless old people are and hoping i would be able to aptly support my parents. I see her on and off at Churchgate station these days. Thankfully i havent seen her cry again. She wears the same gown that is always a little wet and carries a polythene bag with her. i have not seen her beg nor have i seen her with anybody else. Tried making eye contact with her but she is usually in her own world, must be a troubled world and a mind full of broken dreams.
Somehow her image has managed to personify emotional pain in my mind.
God Bless Her.
3 comments:
Relative grading! thats so cruel. lol
and keep blogging man. i don blog when u don blog.
lol .. that certaibky is a motivation .. i am gonna be regular henceforth
goddamn it i have to resume this blog shit.
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